Daunting as Hell…

I’m not gonna lie, this whole writing thing gets to be crazy daunting when it comes time to trying to decide if I want to get traditionally published. Suddenly, the joy I find in putting words on paper makes my hands sweat and that little voice in the back of my head says ‘who are you kidding? You’re not a writer!’

My ego, however… it wants to be traditionally published so I can say, “Yes, you can find my book in these places, published by Such’n’Such.” Because somewhere in the back of my head, I see people roll their eyes and add that fake smile when I say “self-published.”

Realistically, I know “self-published” is not such a dirty thing as it once was and there are arguments for both. But when I research the traditional route, man! It’s daunting as hell! It’s like finding a secret code and going through an initiation to get into the club! And each agent and publishing house has their own code and initiation. Get them crossed and you’re out!

I just want my words to get into as many hands as possible because deep down, I do believe in the characters I created, and the journeys they go on. Deep down, I know how hard I worked, how much time people have spent on these words to help me get the best story possible. I’ve heard the gasp, or the laughter, from the beta readers… I know it’s worthy.

But do I have the tenacity to decode the hidden myths behind finding an agent who believes in my words as much as I do? I’m about to find out. These last two years (! How is it two years?!) of editing and rewrites is about to make its debut as I take it to the next level.

I’ve sat through workshops, listened to podcasts, joined a bunch of Facebook groups, read a bunch of answers to other writers questions, asked a few questions of my own, rewrote my query, worked on my pitch, rewrote my query, rewrote my pitch, rewrote my query… you get the gist of it… And next month, I’m headed to an in-person writing conference and will put my fledging little romance novel out there, as well as myself, to see if it has any legs.

I’m hopeful. I’m aware that there are a gazillion things I don’t know or haven’t been able to do that “makes a writer a writer” but I’m taking some steps forward and testing it out.

It’s daunting as hell… but like most adventures, doesn’t that usually mean the journey is worth it in the end? Wish me luck and keep an eye on the bookshelves. You may see my name out there yet!